Since Sunday I’ve been taking a break from social media as my pregnancy stretches into its final days.
Instagram has been a constant companion since my second son Barney was born, and I adore the community of friends I have there, but among those friends were a lot of pregnant mummas who were due around the same time as me. You’ll note my use of the word ‘were’ as in quick succession they each had thier babies and launched into beautiful baby grams of their new additions.
I’m embarrassed to admit that it was really tough on my emotional state, seeing all the birth announcements, many of whom were due a few weeks after me. It had quite a detrimental effect on how I was feeling and made me feel totally inadequate for ‘still’ being pregnant past 40 and then 41 weeks.
The weight of expectation and messages from people, and conversations from everyone you meet asking when baby is due is a heavy weight to carry along with an increasingly huge belly and a mind full of thoughts, fears, feelings and emotion!
I burst into tears on Sunday when we were out grabbing a coffee (FYI, midwife says that’s a good sign!) . This is most unlike me and I can safely say that I haven’t felt like my usual self for a week or so now. I’ve been sitting on my ball in our living room hiding from the world for a couple of days, and just had a final stretch and sweep appointment which was crampy so hopefully it gave baby a poke and a nudge.
I lost my mucus plug a few days ago and last night I really thought that I’d go into labour after some really intense Braxton Hicks which were coming with regularity, but this morning they had passed. Apparently a flurry of contractions that then ebb away is quite normal for baby no3! My wonderful midwife is happy with how healthy me and baby are and says that labour could start any time now. Fingers crossed.
My only real wish is to avoid induction. My induction appointment is set for Thursday if I require it, but if baby is happy then I will be declining it with the support of my midwife. My memories of an induced birth are traumatic and something I never wish to repeat!
By contrast, labouring naturally was hard work but something I managed with just gas and air with second baby, and the oxytocin high I felt after having him was exhilarating, not to mention the ease with which I bounced back post birth.
I’ll keep you posted… X